Anxiety

My thoughts are silent.

My feet are still

My hands calm.

But tranquility never seems to last.

The words arrive

Whether by feeble silence

or thundering  detail

They always find me.

They crawl in through my ears
 my fingertips

my toes.

They find their way inside

no matter the boundary

no matter the dose of medication

no matter the amount of slumber.

The words find their way inside,

traveling through my organs,

up my spinal cord,

weaving into my bones,

clenching my heart.

Till it reaches my brain-

where it imprisons my mind,

traps my soul,

interlacing with my feelings,

ensnaring my whole being,

and I am completely submissive.

My feet are pacing,

my hands are sweating,

my body is shaking.

My thoughts are no longer silent- they are running a mile a minute

playing on repeat before my eyes like a movie flashing on the big screen.

A tornado of unrest,

a hurricane of emotion

with a frightened child trapped inside.

With each breath taken in-

I pull water into my lungs that are already filled to the brim.

One more deep breath-

and my lungs will collapse.

Causing all the water I was drowning in-

to flood out through my eyes

spilling like a tsunami straight from hell.

I am ten miles deep in the waters from my eyes,

      ten miles deep in the emotions that stole my peace,

ten miles deep in an ocean with no outlet.

But somehow-some way- the words are pulled

from my feelings

       my brain

       my heart

       my bones

      my spinal cord,

      my organs,

Shoved away from my entire being.

My thoughts are once again silent,

my feet still,

my hands calm.